Dear Mouse,

CHRISTMAS is here and people are driving me nuts. How dare they say, “Happy Holidays,” and take the CHRIST out of CHRISTMAS!! I am so worked up over this, my doctor says my blood pressure is up. Just what I need, another health problem during this supposedly ‘happy’ season! Every time some person wishes me a ‘Happy Holidays,’ I just want to smack them and tell them the REAL reason for CHRISTMAS and that reason is CHRIST! What should I do about these idiots?

Signed,

A Christmas Angel

Dear Christmas Angel,

            Firstly, I know exactly what you mean, people are so rude to assume anyone celebrates anything but Christmas! There are no other holidays that matter this time of year – not Hanukkah and not Kwanza and not Winter Solstice and not even birthdays. The millions of people around the globe who celebrate those holidays are wrong and only Christians are right. You are so angelic to not smack those people – I know Christ would feel the same way. If someone wished Christ good tidings, he’d likely backhand them and tell them to say, “Merry Christmas!” Thank you for your letter and be sure to keep Christ in Christmas, because everyone, absolutely everyone, is Christian.